After
by thatfantasyworldofmine
Summary: Set post-Doomsday... Rose's life is just getting back on track when she is hit with something monumental... and completely unexpected. Rated T for adult-ish themes.


Got the idea for this off tumblr, apologies for feels :/ hope you like it!

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**One minute after. **

Her name. That was all he said; Rose couldn't believe he'd missed his chance. She'd never hear his voice again; never hear him say what she so desperately wanted him to. _Rose Tyler: I love you._ She couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't contemplate what her life would like now. Rose pressed her cold fingers to her mouth to try and stifle her sobs, but nothing could stop them from rising and escaping. She turned, looking at her mother desolately, miserably, and ran for her embrace.

"He's gone, Mum; he's gone," she sobbed, clutching her mother tightly. Rose doubled over, her whole body wracked with the pain of the loss of the wonderful man she loved.

**Three days after.**

There was a split second when Rose awoke where everything was alright. Her room was dark, curtains keeping out the early morning sunrise; she could almost imagine she was back on the TARDIS, waking up to another day with her Doctor. Another day, another adventure. The sudden longing for him to be in her arms made her chest and heart ache. It was unbearable. Rose pressed her face deep into the pillows to muffle the sound of her crying. Memories engulfed her mind's eye as she wept; apple grass on New Earth, his ridiculous accent while in Scotland, the terror of losing her face in 1950s London. Almost losing the Doctor on the impossible planet. Again, after the Isolus had taken him. The night they spent together... Rose had truly thought she'd lost him, and the Doctor had seemed even more shaken than usual. Mutual loneliness and need drove them together, and they had spent the whole night in and out of each other until finally falling asleep, hot, sweaty, exhausted in each others arms. And after all that, he still couldn't say it... the lump in Rose's throat grew bigger, threatening to choke her.

"Doctor," she whispered, squeezing her eyes tight shut and imagining his face, that sad small smile he was wearing when he disappeared, his last sentence to her left unfinished. "Doctor, Doctor, my Doctor..."

**Two weeks after.**

Rose had finally left the house after two weeks of moping and went for a walk through the streets of alternate London. It wasn't much different, though she wasn't really concentrating on her surroundings. Jackie had come into her room that morning and demanded that she get out of the house. So Rose walked. She wandered aimlessly through the streets, her mind elsewhere. She stopped at a random spot, realising how far she'd walked from home and that she'd have to walk all the way back. Rose turned around, and across the head of the building straight in front of her, read the name **Torchwood**. Rose stared at it, a thousand emotions for that agency running through her body and mind. She made a decision and stalked towards the grey tower.

**Four weeks after. **

"I got a job, Mum," Rose said, sitting down at the table and watching Jackie pour coffee into two cups. Jackie whipped around, slightly startled at the sound of her daughter's voice.

"That's brilliant, love." Jackie smiled and sat next to her, placing Rose's coffee in front of her.

"I got a job at Torchwood," she expanded, and Jackie's smile faded. "I'm gonna make it a better place," Rose explained, warming her hands on her mug. "I'm gonna work there and one day I'm gonna find a way back to him, Mum. I can't jus' sit here and do nothing; I can't go back to working in a shop for the rest of my life." Words tumbled from Rose's mouth, but she couldn't stop herself. "I have to get back to him. I'm not gonna give up this easily," she said, new determination in her voice. "I'm done with being depressed. It's time to get back to work, saving the world and finding the Doctor." Rose glanced up from her mug to see Jackie looking at her, a smile on her face.

"You go do that, Rose." Jackie nodded and rubbed Rose's shoulder. "You can do that. You go find the Doctor."

**Seven weeks after.**

"You goin' to be home for tea, love?" Jackie asked as Rose breezed into the kitchen, early morning rush in full swing. "Or you working late again?" Jackie frowned slightly; she didn't like how Rose had been looking lately. That job at Torchwood was taking its toll; Rose's face was thinner, and her eyes glassy with fatigue.

"Probably working late," Rose replied, sitting at the table, toast in hand. She took a bite, but it didn't taste right. She slowed chewing and swallowed, then immediately regretted that decision. Her face suddenly turned pale. "Oh, I feel sick..." Rose stumbled out of her chair and raced to the bathroom as fast as she could, leaning over the toilet and throwing up.

"Rose?" Jackie's voice sounded from behind her, but Rose paid no attention, another wave of nausea overcoming her. She threw up again as Jackie's hand rubbed slow circles on her back.

"Ugh..." she groaned, resting her sweaty head on her arm encircling the bowl. "This is just what I need."

"So... staying home from work today?" Jackie asked, handing her a few tissues. Rose nodded and stood up, clutching the vanity for support.

"Bed, I think," Rose groaned, and slowly made her way to her bedroom, flopping down on the bed and sighing with relief as her mother closed the curtains, encasing the room in blissful darkness.

Jackie came back into Rose's room a few minutes later with a glass of water and a bowl to find Rose sound asleep. She kissed her daughter's forehead gently and closed the door.

**Ten weeks after.**

It had taken Rose over a week to get over her sickness, but now she was back at work. Working tirelessly, consulting with a number of different people all working towards the same goal: travelling between universes. Where Rose could finally get back to the Doctor.

Rose strolled into the front doors of Torchwood, nodding to the receptionist. She wasn't feeling a hundred percent this day in particular; a sore stomach, just a bit off. She entered the elevator and smiled at her co-worker Jenny, striking up a conversation. Jenny was part of the way through telling Rose about her weekend when a wave of dizziness came over Rose and she grabbed Jenny's arm automatically, trying to steady herself.

"Rose? Are you alright?" She heard Jenny say, and she closed her eyes, breathing heavily.

"I don't know, I just..." Rose opened her eyes and spots danced across her vision. Jenny suddenly grabbed her arm back, so hard Rose flinched.

"Rose... you're bleeding," Jenny exclaimed awkwardly, gesturing downwards. Rose followed her line of sight down to the top of her thighs where a red stain was slowly spreading, and suddenly she felt it; a tearing aching pain in her abdomen and the liquid that was surely blood dripping down between her legs. The world tilted sideways and grew fuzzy as Rose dropped to her knees, her head spinning. Hands gripped her shoulders as she swayed and keeled over, her eyes closing. The last thing Rose heard was the ding of the elevator as she lost consciousness.

_*Later...*_

Rose awoke in a hospital bed. She had an IV in her arm, and her abdomen ached something chronic. Plus she felt so _weak_. She looked around and noticed Jackie dozing in a chair beside her.

"Mum..." Rose mumbled, reaching out for her hand. Jackie started awake and leaned forward, giving Rose a smile. "What happened?"

"Oh Rose, love; you're okay, you're fine," Jackie told her tenderly, squeezing her daughter's hand and cupping her cheek with the other. "You had really low blood pressure, love. You passed out." Jackie bit her lip, and Rose could see in her eyes, there was something she was holding back.

"Mum, I remember..." Rose said, and her lip started to quiver. "Mum, I was bleeding. A lot. Not a normal amount; like, a lot. Too much. Like several periods' worth..." Rose stopped for a second. She couldn't remember having her period at all since she'd been with the Doctor. Fear gripped her like a vice. "Mum..."

Jackie's eyes filled with tears.

"Rose..." Jackie caressed her daughter's face gently, her eyes glassy. "I'm so sorry, love. I'm so sorry... you were unconscious for the whole thing. At first it was just you; you passed out because your blood pressure was so low, then they had to put you under anesthetic."

"Mum..." Rose almost choked on all the emotions. Tears streaked their way down her cheeks. "I was _pregnant_?" Jackie nodded, silent tears running down her face. Rose let out an involuntary sob, and pressed her hand to her mouth, squeezing her eyes shut. Jackie's hand never left hers. Rose swallowed for a second and looked back at her mother. "And I lost it?" she whispered brokenly.

"I'm so sorry, love," Jackie whispered, and leaning over, kissed her daughter on the forehead.

Rose closed her eyes and rolled away, taking back her hand and turning her back to her mother. She could feel her heart breaking all over again and she sobbed into her pillow, wanting nothing more than to be sad and cry in the Doctor's arms and have him tell her everything was gonna be alright. She had had a part of him with her and she hadn't even known... and then she'd lost that too.

Rose felt her mother's hand rubbing her back, but she didn't care. She had lost everything; then, just as she thought she was getting everything back, Rose Tyler's life had lost everything again.


End file.
